the bearable lightness of Being devoted to Him
So, now that it’s all out on the table so to speak so many things are processing….
Now, I have never hidden anything about myspirituality from my wonderfully supportive husband. But I have struggled with how to communicate the complex simplicity (yes I know the terms contradict a good deal but this is Loki we are talking about) of the dynamic and what it means for me, for him and for our children since both he and the older two children do not work within a heathen related construct. That is something that is not easy to do really, and they still don’t fully understand the depth of it all BUT they do know that this whole thing makes me more spiritually whole and when I am more whole I function better… isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?
He pointed out to me that the Tattoo I got for Him is the only one outside of the one I have for my husband and children that has the symbol for infinity as a part of the design. Add to that the nebula chosen is the boomerang – while it may be thrown far afield it ever returns to the point of origin and of course the star of Chaos. How better to make an oath than to make it a part of my sacred body art. Well except that while I knew it was ink dedicated to Him I had not thought of it as an oath. Until He pointed it out, and I was all “of course it is”. To that end, I made my Formal Oath to Him last night on Samhain as I stood in my Garden to The Gods and Made my offerings to Them, and all of the wights and ancestors. I promised Him that I would always Honor Him and to that end I would hold myself to a higher Standard, to push myself to meet the challenges put before me and to always honor He and His Family. I will also do all in my power to help dispel the misconceptions about Him and bring The Truth of his Character into the light so that the prejudices and stigmas begin to dissipate and those of us that DO Give Him Honor need not do it in darkened corners of the world far from the eyes of those we would normally call our community.
There seems also to be a good deal about God Spousery, devotion et al, of late too. I have seen it suggested that they seem to be ‘crawling out of the woodwork’ so to speak. And While I agree that it seems I am meetinga good many folk with this kind of calling/relationship dynamic with Loki I do not believe for an instant that is it because there is a sudden abundance of those that have been called to service. I think it is a matter of the channels of communication being flung open to a much greater degree than they have been before and as such those that have been called are simply much more able to connect with each other. And I must say that for Me that is a blessing. I would not trade my brothers and sisters in Him for any world. We each of us have our roles, each different from the other but none less important.
In any case His affection for me is palpable (as is that of all of the gods and wights i work with and honor) , it is ever present and fills me with knowledge that I have done the right thing and that in stepping foot on this path I have likely taken the surest step I have yet taken in my spiritual development. And That will always be a decision made in joy, no matter how He pushes, no matter how He enflames, no matter how He shows me my own flaws as well as His own. This is a choice that I made with my will, not coercion and fear. And for that reason alone This Lightness, this spark will always be bearable.
I am Leikin Ondshrafn. I am a Lokiswoman Helasgydhia, and an Odinsdottir, A wife to the most amazing man in the world and mother to amazing daughters of my own. First because without my spirit work I am not whole and when I am not whole I am no good to my self or to my family and I am His devotee because He has brought me more than He has taken and given His Love Freely and without condition.