A Healthy New Life

A Healthy New Life

Living with chronic and debillitating pain effects every part of life, both for the one enduring it and for our loved ones.  This winter nearly killed me.  I fell asleep crying more often than not just because the pain was unbearable.  

In the short weeks I was in Arizona visiting my sister Sarah I was able to move, and run and dance and LIVE for the first time I can remember in more than 15 years. While I was there I did not have a single ache or pain.  For me, this was nothign short of a miracle.  And one that thankfully I can make happen. 

I have lived with Firbromyalgia and Arthritis in my knees,ankles and spine for many years.  People always say to go to the southwest and it will be SO much better.  I now understand why they say that.  
 
My husband Adam has been able to transfer his teaching credentials to Arizona and as a result has been able to find employment in the Phoenix area.  

It is truly a blessing to be able to do this.  For the first time I will be able to actually be IN my childrens lives instead of just watching them play and have fun with their dad, I will be able to play with them and laugh with them without fear of pain 

Now, we just have to get there.  The cost of moving us and our belongings is not cheap and we really need your help in helping us get there.  Please do what you are able to help us out, we appreciate you all…

 

Of course I absolutely understand that mone is tight for everyone but all i ask is tha tif you cannot give that you share the link around… Pinterest, Facebook, LinkedIn, Google+, Twitter, Tumblr… whatever media you use please share. ther eare some really awesome things as reward levels!

Lucifer’s Beauty

Leikin:

I am simply going to Quote Tori Amos on this, it speaks for itself IMO….

“I’ve always said that Lucifer understands love better than anybody.”
“Some of my girlfriends-liberal London girls-had a problem with the idea that I was writing a song called ‘Father Lucifer.’ One of them heard it and cried and said, ‘You made him so beautiful,’ and I said, ‘What if he is beautiful?’”
~Tori Amos

Originally posted on The Lure of Beauty:

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courtesy roadtrippers.com

https://roadtrippers.com/blog/this-statue-of-lucifer-might-be-the-creepiest-art-installation-ever

Paul Fryer is the artist of the above statue. When I posted the link to the article, several of my friends lamented that he isn’t beautiful. So here’s a small testament to Lucifer’s Beauty.

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encyclopediasatanica.wordpress.com

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Chaire Cathédrale Liège, wikipedia.com

My mom told me as a child that Lucifer was beautiful, that he was the most beautiful angel, that he was a great gentleman, and that he was smooth as silk. She told me he defied God, so he was thrown out of heaven. Now, as a 5 year old, I knew that you just didn’t throw out the most beautiful. The most beautiful one was the best one, and you kept the best one. (You also kept the least beautiful one, but for entirely different reasons…) I dreamt of meeting Lucifer, the most beautiful angel, because he was the most beautiful.

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Lucifer by Franz von Stuck

The…

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So there are things…

 

As many of you may have read last year I made oaths to Loki as a spouse.  As a result many things happened in the wake of that oath – now the oath I made to Him was not what many would consider ‘spousal’ the oath made was simple and direct:

I promised Him that I would always Honor Him and to that end I would hold myself to  a higher Standard, to push myself to meet the challenges put before me and to always honor He and His Family.  I will also do all in my power to help dispel the misconceptions about Him and bring The Truth of his Character into the light so that the prejudices and stigmas begin to dissipate and those of us that DO Give Him Honor need not do it in darkened corners of the world far from the eyes of those we would normally call our community.

That said, I fucked up.  And while many many good things have happened – my art has developed  IMMENSELY, my income has increased as a result and I have met many wonderful people as well.  But like I said,  I fucked up.  And I fucked up BAD.  As a result I not only hurt but I betrayed and disgraced the person I love the most in this world, and for that I ache every day.

I had thought (mistakenly) that I was clear with Adam about what was going on and what my oaths and everything else were.  Truly, I really did think I was clear, I thought he understood what was happening. And that it would not violate any oaths to him at all (see oaths made above).  Not understanding this I planned a ritual to formalize my oaths at troth moot in California with a friend Horsing Loki and another horsing Odin as witness to my oaths.   What I did not do however was to explicitly ask Adam if he was ok with what I had planned .  He was not.  He viewed it as a betrayal of trust, a breach of my marriage vows to him and a desertion of my honor.  His view is that I did not enter into a divine marriage but that I “married someone else”  – his view of the divine is not what mine is.  As such He feels betrayed.  I understand why he does.  And I apologize.

In posting the many things here about Adams understanding (I genuinely thought he had) and the idea that he agreed and supported everything, I also disgraced him in many ways.  This was not ok.  This was damaging beyond belief and all of this has very nearly cost me my marriage…  Now we are in therapy individually and with our minister.  How it plays out still remains to be seen.

But this I know.  I hurt my husband.  I betrayed and disgraced him in many ways.  That is never ok to do to someone you love. In doing what I have done I have brought on an IMMENSE amount of pain to both of us.  There are days I do not know that I will survive.  As I am sure there are days Adam doesn’t know if he will survive with me.  I have struggled much over all of this, and things have been both better and worse.  BUT I will never be able to apologize enough for the wrongs I committed against my husband.

As for Loki, Loki is still very much a part of my life, I am His Gydhia, I do His work, and I have on pretty good authority that labels mean shit to Him and doing what I do is just fine.

But first and foremost I am my own person, who is wholly devoted to my marriage to a mortal husband that I love.  Yes we have some pretty major hurdles to overcome and MAJOR communications issues but like any relationship it’s a work in progress.

I love my husband more than I can express, but I also hurt him more than I have words for, and hurt myself as well.

Our gods are not passive, they demand accountability.  If I am going to follow the Gods I follow and live the way I do I must first hold myself accountable.

Adam, I love you.  I am more sorry than I can ever begin to express…

Please remember this…  You are the Love of My life….  pay attention to the words on the screen…  I don’t know if you remember but this was on the soundtrack at our second wedding Winter Solstice 2008…

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SHOPPING! URGH! Or not… YOU CAN MAKE IT BETTER!!!

Last year i posted the following rant type thing and then added a list of artists, crafters and home based businesses that you can choose to support instead of the “BIG BOX” retailers.  I’m reposting it now because the season of brutality in malls is upon us again…

This is no shock if you have seen my work really (and do please have a look at the link if you haven’t) but I am saying this now because as may be obvious the holiday season is on us.

No, I’m not just trying to sell you ion my craft dear readers.  I am also trying to make a small statement.

I had the unfortunate need to stop into the Wal-Mart on my way home from the in-laws bird eating festivities on Thursday.  So I walked in and it took me 10 minutes to wade my way through the morass of stupidity and negativity that the interior of the building had become just to pick up ONE Item.  I began wading my way back thru said morass to find the end of a line.  I found none.  In those 15 minutes I went from being in a rather pleasantish mood to being ready to go postal and nuke the whole damned lot of them.

Now, I used to cleanse houses of some pretty unpleasant things.  But never Never Have I experienced such Concentrated IKCKKK as I did in those 15 minutes.  I think maybe we could have applied the story concept used in the GHOSTBUSTERS II movie as a template for the way the energy in there felt.

Now we all know that Loki loves His bit of Chaos now and then but this… this even made Him want to run… and run fast.  I got back in the car, immediately looked at my dearest husband and told him I was going to disappear because I was that much not ok after that experience.  Immediately popped in the noise isolating earbuds and disappeared… I showed back up more than an hour later when we were nearly home.

Dear reader I tell you this because frankly I would not wish that kind of BLECH on even my most hated enemy.  Please, PLEASE spare yourself and your loved ones of that kind of experience.

SHOP LOCALLY, SHOP with your ONLINE *Local* COMMUNITY, SHOP with the Folk Who Share your Faith, your ideals and your common interests!  There are MILLIONS of us out there; I am just one of many

Below you will find a list of Facebook and Etsy  pages, these are artists and crafters that I consider MY community and MY Family, PLEASE look them over and see if they have something that fills a need you have.  You will be making an actual person benefit from your patronage…

http://fincastali.org/handmade

https://www.facebook.com/fiberwytch?fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Highwire-Coffee-Roasters/132061020211595

https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/The.Kenaz.Sword

http://www.etsy.com/shop/MrsBsBrewsandBaubles?ref=si_shop

https://www.facebook.com/CariocaWitch

http://www.etsy.com/shop/TRSkye

https://www.etsy.com/shop/draupner?ref=si_shop
http://www.draupnir.biz

https://www.facebook.com/tangledyarn

https://www.facebook.com/gallerysevven

https://www.facebook.com/ikizekArt

https://www.facebook.com/FullKnittedJacket?fref=pb

https://www.facebook.com/RalskiArt?fref=pb

https://www.facebook.com/Eliora.EnchantingElegance?fref=pb

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Castle-of-Color/201278089906863

http://www.etsy.com/shop/ChrissySparksArt?ref=top_trail

http://www.etsy.com/shop/DvergersAnvil

https://www.facebook.com/BackInTheDayReEnactmentItemsForSaleToOrder

http://puremagickproductions.com/

This is not a complete list by any means at all but it is a start and I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE any and everyone to feel free to ass any links to the comments section PLEASE.

My intention is to BUILD this resource!

 

AS AN INCENTIVE I AM POSTING OUR CURRENT COUPON CODE!

THROUGH WEDNESDAY NIGHT CODE 30OVER402013 WILL GET YOU 30% OFF YOUR PURCHASE OF 40.00 OR MORE IN THE ETSY STORE!!!!

https://www.etsy.com/shop/IvaldisDreamTrove

Loki as Provider

I know, not what many people think of when they hear the name “Loki” but for me it is very much a fact.

Loki is one of My Muses.  He is in fact the single biggest source of inspiration I have in my art and creative process. He very much brings the rune of Kenaz to my work, but more than that He actually brings me work.  And I have to give credit where it is due

I cannot count the number of Client I have that are Clients because “Loki said you could do this”.  including a time where i actually got a phone call saying that Loki told her to call me to have this done. 

Beyond that I know that others devoted to Him have had the same or similar things happen to them as well.

 

This is a simple THANK YOU to Himself.  For providing when needed and inspiring in the first place…

HAIL LOKI!

 

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All of the things…..

much has been going on….  some good, some righteously sucky and some , just is…

 

creatively I have been awesome. Many things have been made, new ventures are being taken on and things on that level are rather lovely….  This years Holiday collection will be in two colors and that is a new thing for me.  I am also doing more extensive silver work.  Additionally I am doing custom stone carvings.  they are done meditatively and as with all of my work I listen to what the stone has to say about what is being found within it and follow its lead… we will see how that goes :)….

 

Yes, this blog is ostensibly for Loki….  and I am wholly aware that I have not discussed Him in quite some time,  I am in the midst of writing a rather longish post in regard to Him and things that happened in the desert with His Family.  it was a very powerful experience for me so it is takign much longer than i had anticipated…

 

in the meantime i will leave you with some photos of my new creations…

 

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Loki will be Loved.

Leikin:

My very dear friend Wrote this about Himself.

Tanisha is one of my very dearest friends and she amazes me so much with so many things she both is and does. But bottom lining it all for me is that Loki is so very many things, but beneath it all what He is for many is Love in many beautiful and ugly ways….

Originally posted on The Lure of Beauty:

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How to get Tanisha’s attention if you are a deity. Find an artistic image, character, or have her read/watch your story. Touch her heart and make her fall in love with you. Tada! Instant convert. 

As a Heathen, I love Lokians. I believe Loki deserves followers, and that he serves those followers well. I believe that in a circle, He should be able to be “Hailed” along with all the others. I don’t (things are developing) have a big, lovely relationship with Him. Once I learned He was to have a drink every time Odin does, I have always poured some for Him. It seems good manners and hospitality, which is a large part of Heathenism, so it makes sense. 

I’ve seen similar issues with Exu, Road Keeper of the Orisha. Every ceremony opens with Him, He translates your requests for the Orisha (except for Oshun, she can hear you…

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